Forgiving What You Can't Forget

Without her, I go nowhere. And but when I was we're going to all these cities. They're all designed the same way. It's pretty amazing, actually. There's a church, and the whole city is designed around the church. And then you walk into these churches, and they're enormous.

And the art, the the design, the quality, the craftsmanship, what was what they put in to to create places out of nothing. I mean, oh, I mean, fifth 15 hundreds, 12 hundreds. It's incredible. And I'm sitting there just thinking like, wow. What people dedicated their life to do. And back then, everything was centered around the church.

I mean, it was pretty incredible. The whole everything came out of that. And and now it's like, you know, as you go in all these places, you pay to pay a ticket to go in and look. And I was just thinking, look at the whole world is coming. They come to look at the beauty of the church or the and and all these thoughts were going on my mind. One, it was like, what a privilege and honor it is for us to build the kingdom of God, to to be the ones that God called to build and do his work and to see what others had done through time.

I mean, here's stories of a a lady that that that that a druid horde pulled over on on their caravan and said, hey. You either marry me or you die. And she said, I'm gonna die. Her and her whole group of people. You know, just seeing, like, the act of faith and what people are willing to do for the kingdom of God. And and now to see how it's kind of all flipped.

It's like I was sitting there watching all these people and it's like we're just taking pictures, we're observing, but that's oh, it's cool what the church is doing and but we're not a part of it anymore. You know? It's like the whole world now, it's just something we wanna come see and look, and I and we're gonna change all that. You know? We are a part of a great the kingdom of God. What a privilege and an honor it is to serve the king of kings and the lord of lords.

Unbelievable time. I mean and I think this is the first time I spoke since I've been back or I went pastor David's here. I mean, when I went to Bolivia, some of you have been asking, bro, he's got a great church there. For him to be in this room with us is pretty incredible. What he's done for twenty two, twenty three, or thirty plus years, I don't know. I always get it wrong.

But in Bolivia, to go into this church, see what they've done, and him being here with us is pretty cool. And thank you for bringing the word last week to us. And we're building the kingdom, though. Whether you're 60 years old or 20 years old or in the middle or older or younger, it doesn't matter. We have a a mission that we're a part of, which is amazing. Can you imagine what we can do?

I I I I think I'm excited for the future. I'm excited for what God is doing. I'm excited that it is incredible that I could leave for a Sunday and you guys still showed up and made this happen because the church is not built on one person. We're a team. We're an army. Not one person could build those great cathedrals that I saw.

It took an army, man. You know, it took an army. And and, guys, we have a new we're about his business. I'm excited for what he's called us to do. And we're not here to do small things. We're here to do big things.

And, you know, don't despise the the days of small beginnings. You know? And for you, some of you started new careers. You just moved here. You're from other countries. You're starting over.

We're not where we wanna be. That's okay. But we're gonna get there. You're gonna get there. As long as I'm here with you, we're gonna make it, and we're gonna get there. And we're gonna keep fighting and believing and praying big prayers and and and believing God for big things, and and and we're gonna do it together.

And we're gonna you know, life's not e it's not easy, and life is not perfect, and there's ups and downs, but no one ever had it easy. Jesus never said it'd be easy. And but he has a kingdom that will that takes it by force. I mean, he's you know, we got things to do, dragons to slay. We got giants to kill. We got, things to do.

And and and most importantly, you have to be in the right position so that God could use you and for us not to be so distracted about this world and where we're at and where we're not at and and get back to the real reason it's all about as I've been saying, it's all about him at the end of the day. It's not about the million dollars or $10,000,000 or the Rolls Royce that you wish you had or the jet or the all that all that's cool, and there's nothing wrong with having any of that stuff. But at the end, none of it satisfies. The zeros in your bank account doesn't in the end, you can build a bigger house and you still want a bigger one. Nothing in your heart, nothing inside you can be met only by him. Only he can meet your husband, your wife, your kids, money, or all those things, and there's nothing wrong.

I'm just saying it has to be about him. We have to get back to it. It has to be about him, and that means, like, I gotta get with God. You gotta be with God. You gotta chase God. He's gotta be first.

You you know, it's not about what you know. It's like, what am I living? What am I actually living? You know? And so, this is off topic, of course. This is not about I'm like, where am I at on my notes?

I haven't even started yet. But, guys, we gotta chase Jesus. If you do that, everything else will take care of itself. If you chase Jesus, the business will will your marriage will change. Keep chasing Jesus. Be with Jesus.

Make him the priority because he's the one that transforms. This is why Moses said, hey. I'm not going anywhere without him. I gotta have his presence. I can't do it. I can't fight the armies.

I can't do any of that, you know, without Jesus. You gotta we gotta be with him. And it's not some religious, oh, it's ten minutes or twenty minutes. It's just no. It's every day, it's like, gotta I wanna meet with, get with, spend time with Jesus. And when you don't, you could feel it.

You know? And it's gotta be the priority. That's why later today, we're gonna take communion because we are reminded of his great sacrifice. And all throughout scripture, God used the the calendar and used scripture and used different things that happened in people's lives to keep reminding people, hey. This is this is what I've done. This is who I am.

And don't forget how important it is to know me, to live for me. Don't forget the miracles I've done. Don't forget the sacrifice I've made. Don't forget why you're here. Don't get caught up in what the Gentiles are chasing. Chase me, everything else will come.

But chase me. Chase him. Chase Jesus. It's gotta be about him. Right? Because that's it.

Don't chase the money. The money will come. There's nothing wrong. Commit your plans to the Lord. You know? He says he gives you the power to make wealth.

He says he'll bless what you put your hand to. All that will come, but he's gotta be the first thing. That's it. And when we talk about going to the next level in our our marriage, in our relationships, us, that's the foundation of everything. If not, you can't love your wife when she's you got bravo, you know. You can't you can't you wanna kill your kids, you know, whenever they don't clean their room.

You know, you all those things, you really can't navigate without him. Amen. Amen. Oh, that's good. So today, we're talking about forgiving what you can't forget. Because I think in every relationship, whether you're married or not, something has happened, a betrayal or a text you saw late at night or a fight that happened that things were said, word for said.

And we say, oh, we've moved on. But have you? Have you moved on? And we say, oh, that converse you know, we had this conversation maybe in your kitchen eight years ago and, oh, we moved on from that conversation. But the other person's like, just like it happened yesterday. You know, there's things in our life that we have buried that haven't been healed.

And most of us will say, oh, we moved on, but it's still there, but it's buried. And so, Holy Spirit, I ask that you speak to us today. Jesus, it's all about you. And, Jesus, I know you want us to have healthy relationship with you. That's why you came. That's why you redeemed us.

That's why you forgave us. That's why you saved us. And, Lord, help us to have these other relationships outside of you. Let them be holy. Let them be good. Let them be full of joy is our prayer.

In Jesus' name, amen. For some of you, a spouse or an ex or your dad or your mom, your in laws, your outlaws, best friend, a pastor, a business partner, years of small little cuts, you know, it's the little foxes that spoil the vine, things that took place that you just can't forget. There's thing there's things that have happened in my life I will never forget. It's just not gonna happen. There's no there's no, it's just not happening. God can forget.

Thank God he's God, but I don't forget. And pretending you have one, you know, pretending you can is just it's not possible at all. But you can forgive. You can forgive. So say this with me. When I say, I can't forget, you say, but I can forgive.

So I'm gonna say, I can't forget it. You say, but I can forgive it. Try that again. I'm gonna say, I can't forget it, but you say, but Can't forget it. I can forgive it. One more time.

I can't forget it. And you say I can't forgive it. But I can forgive it. Amen. So you can't change what happened, but you can decide what happens next. You can't reverse, redo.

You know, I love middle school playing tetherball and getting a redo, you know, playing foursquare. Can I get a redo? I wish there was redos in life. You can't change what happened in the relationship or your marriage in the past or what's happened thus far, but you can decide what happens next. You can decide. You didn't get a vote on what they did or what happened to you.

The vote's over because it happened. But you get a vote of what you're gonna do today. What are you gonna do from today on? Amen. And today, you're gonna have to cast it. Right?

We're in a series called us. Every relationship has a next level, and we gotta go to the next level. We talked about week one about how to, you know, this isn't supposed to be this hard. Week two, we talked about, hey. This about fighting fair. You know, week three, did something online about love.

No one watched. So that was great. Number week four, David Larson came in here. He talked on love after forty years of marriage, and he brought it. And then today, we're talking about forgiving what you can't forget. None of this works, though, when people get hurt.

The rules of fighting, etcetera. And so maybe you're dating, maybe you're single, maybe you're, you know, you checked out, but most of us, your next step is blocked because you haven't forgiven what has taken place in the past, and it's time to forgive. And so you can't put on what you don't you can't put on what you need to put away. I don't know about you. I love buying new clothes. Over the years, I've looked one way and then looked another way.

I used to wear suits when I was in the ministry. Had a shirt and tie all the time. I don't have any suits. I went to see David, and then he was like, you need a suit. I got I don't got no suits. I got I got an old I got yeah.

But you can't put on something what you haven't put away. So look at this in Colossians chapter three. I want you to see this. Look what the scripture says. Because I want I want you guys I want myself and us to be free in our hearts, in our homes, in our families, in our relationships. I want I don't want what's been happening to continue, and I don't want to continue to live a life that you're not supposed to live.

And the only way we can do it is by listening to his word and then obeying the words. Look at the what the church that was said in Colossians three twelve to 14. It says, put on then as God's chosen ones. God's chosen ones. You, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts. Look at this.

Put on compassionate hearts. Put on kindness. Put on humility. Put on meekness. Put on patience, put on bearing with one another, and if one has a complaint against each other I don't know why everybody got a complaint. Oh, man.

They didn't take out the trash. Man, I've been asking him for years to take out the trash. He's still not. Bear with one if one has a complaint against one another, forgiving each other as the Lord has forgiven you. Thank God he forgave me. Because he forgave me, you can forgive them.

Right? I'm not gonna let that go though. Let it go. Let it as the Lord has forgiven you, you also must forgive. You must forgive. Put on.

Paul's talking about getting dressed. Get dressed in compassion. Get dressed in humility and patience. Oh, we are so unpatient, us Latinos. You know, Americans were more laid back, some. I'm flagmatic.

Whatever your personality is, you a personality, we're not patient at all. I want it my way. I want it right now, and it has to happen that way. And if it doesn't, I'm upset. Put on compassion. Put on humility.

You're getting dressed. Get dressed with humility and get dressed with patience. And right in the middle of the outfit, it says, forgiving each other. You gotta forgive each other. I have to forgive. I don't wanna forgive, but God forgave me and he's forgiven you of everything you ever did wrong, past, present, and future.

You have to forgive. And I might not be able to forget about it, but I can make a decision to forgive. Amen. Now look at what he wrote the letter the next letter over. So this is Colossians. The next the next letter is to Ephesians.

Look what it says. Ephesians chapter four verse 31. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger now I don't know about you, but you see the all in the Greek? I love preachers say this, so I love to say it. You know what all means in the Greek? All means all.

Let all what is all? All bitterness, all wrath, anger, clamor, slander be put away from you. So we're putting on all these other things, but then it says put away bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander be put away from you. Along with all malice, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you. Look, I love see, this is what God is telling you to do things that how he is with you. This is how God is with us.

And since this is how he is with us, this is how we must be with others. He's not a hypocrite. That's why he's like, hey, I'll forgive you, but you can't hate your brother or not forgive them. I've forgiven you. Let all. Look at this all you ever what is clamor?

You ever read something in the scriptures? You're like, I've never what is clamor? Does anyone know what even clamor means? You ever read a scripture and I have no idea what that means? I I looked it up. Clamor in the Greek.

A loud cry, shouting, outcry, or screaming. That's clamor. So let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor. So Paul is describing an escalation. Bitterness is resentment held inside. Wrath is emotional explosion.

Anger is ongoing hostility. Clamor, it comes out through yelling and heated arguing. Evil speaking, now you're attacking the person with your words. Malice. And, unfortunately, we've all done this. I've done this.

You've done this. We've all done this and so except pastor David because he's Swedish. They don't get angry, which is incredible because I've never seen him angry. I keep thinking he's getting angry. He doesn't get angry because he's Swedish, and that's it. I should have been Swedish, but I'm not.

So look. And it says Paul is basically saying, get the yelling, the fighting, the screaming, the hostile arguments, and the verbal attacks out of your relationships. Amen. Because that's how we are to be as Christians. Clamor. Interesting.

Yeah. When you see a word you don't understand, it's good to go look it up. So so you put away put away all that bad stuff, and then you put on all the good stuff. So he doesn't say put kindness on over the bitterness. He says take the bitterness off first because you can't dress get dressed for next level marriage while you're still wearing what the last fight did to you. So most people try to put on better marriage over an old wound.

Hey. The next one's it's gonna be better, but we're still wounded and hurt because we have things buried in our life that we need to deal with. So you're gonna take hold of the old thing first so you could put on the new things. The way my dad treated me, the way I was raised, what happened in the last marriage, the relationships, the hurts, the betrayals, the things. We gotta deal with all that stuff. Because if you don't, it just comes out.

Let me show you how buried looks so you recognize it. Buried is, I'm fine. How are doing? Oh, I'm fine. We're fine. You know?

How are you and your mother-in-law? Oh, we're fine. And then you get in the car, and it's, like, vicious, oh, I hate her. Ugh. In the car, you know, buried is your husband is late. He forgets to tell you he's coming late, and then he gets home, and you react like he's the man who left you in the last relationship.

And it was just like he was late and forgot to text you because of what was buried in your past. Right? So that's not you know, that's what buried is. You know, we you know, oh, I haven't talked to my dad in six years. So you know? But we're at peace.

Everything's good. No. Things are buried. Things aren't right. And it's not peace. It's a ceasefire.

So and what happens is when you have all these things buried in your life that aren't dealt with, then it's like, oh, I'm mean to my kids one day, and it's really not it's not them. It's because it's everything that's been buried in me about my father. So then I take it out on them and then I realize the same voice he uses the voice I'm using because there's things that are buried in me that now are coming out. And it shows up in our parenting or it shows up in our relationships. It shows up in how I love or how I flinch. See, Paul's, lisp, bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander, malice, read it again.

Not one of those is what they did to you. Every one of those is what's growing in you because of what they did. I mean, relationship is so tricky in life. We're, you know, we're born, we grow up in a crazy dysfunctional home. I don't have not met anyone that has been raised in a in a a whole home. If you have, God bless you.

Or there was no divorce or problems or issues. But here's the part that stings. The person who hurt you or did damage to you or betrayed you is not probably not at two in the morning thinking about the thing that they did to you. They've moved on. They're not tense at the dinner table, but we're the ones wearing it. We're the ones holding these wounds.

We're the one that's buried these things in our life that need to be dealt with. They've handed you a wound, and you've been carrying it around for them like it's your job. So hear me, unforgiveness is the only wound you keep reopening yourself. And that's why we gotta get it out. You can't hold unforgiveness. You just can't.

It kills everything around you. It poisons you bitterness, rage, anger, clam all that comes from these wounds, these things that have been buried in your life that we got to deal with. So some of you have buried it so well, you don't even know it's there anymore. It's like, no. We moved on. We're fine.

But then, when there's a certain conversation, you shut down. Or when there's talk about money or loyalty, family and church, and your reaction is always bigger than the moment. All of a sudden, something happens with money and there's an explosion that's bigger than, why are we exploding about that? Or about church or about anything. And it's because it's not your personality. It's things that have been buried in your life that need to be dealt with.

And then it's like this little it's buried. See, you can't put away what you won't dig up. So right now, before we go any further, holy spirit, show us those times, those moments, those wounds, those things, you name it, date it, and you know it, and you speak it to God, maybe in your heart, God, this this situation, the way I was raised, my father, my mother. Because moved on and buried are not the same thing. So some of you have been saying, we've moved on. I've moved on.

We've moved forward. And you almost believed it, but God's not letting you bury anymore because he doesn't heal what you hide. He heals what you hand him. And you can't forget it, but you can forgive it. What they did, the problems that took place, the pain they brought, you can't forget it, but you can forgive it. And that's sometimes hard.

Maybe it's very hard. Actually, it's extremely hard. But it's the best thing you could ever do. Let's talk about the math of forgiveness real quick. Matthew eighteen twenty one to 22. And Peter came and said to him, Lord, how often?

Like, how many times when my brother sins against me am I supposed to forgive him? As many as seven? Jesus said, I do not say to you seven times but 77 times. I love Peter because Peter asked the question you actually wanna ask. You know, how many times Jesus is there? You know, they've already, hey.

This is the third time. That's it. We're done. Right? That's what that's what he was trying to get. Like, what's the number?

It's not three. Okay. Let me go with seven. And he's proud of that number. Jesus says 77, and sometimes the Bible says 77 times seven or Jesus isn't giving Peter a bigger number. He's making he's taking the number away.

He's like, if you're still counting, you haven't started forgiving. And I know a human you you know, in our humanity, three strikes, you're out. I mean, I love that. What's the you know, something that the third strike, you're done. And some of you have a number and you would never say it out loud. Oh, it's this is the third time.

I've I've let this go twice already. And you're keeping account. And every time you forgive, you're not clearing the ledger. You're just adding a line to it. It's like a a compute line. Well so Jesus tells a story.

A king settles with his servants. They bring him a man who owes him 10,000 talents. Look at this. Because we're talking about forgiveness. Because I can't forget it, but you can choose to forgive. Matthew 18, as we keep reading, 24 through 27, it says, when he began to settle, one who was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents.

10,000. And since he could not pay his master, ordered him to be sold and his wife and children and all that they had and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, have patience with me. I'll pay you everything. And out of pity for him, the master, the servant, released him and forgave him the debt. Now let me make the math simple.

One talent was about twenty years of paychecks. 10,000 talents is 20 lifetimes of paychecks times 10,000. So Jesus picked a number that means there's no version of this where he can pay it back. That's the that's the story here. There's no way. So the the king wipes it all away.

The king says, you know what? It's gone. Now look. The same man that is forgiven of all this stuff, 20,000 lifetimes of payments, gets pardoned, forgiven, it's it's clean. He walks out of the door in Matthew eighteen twenty eight to 30. But when the same servant went out, he found out his fellow servant who owed him a 100 denarii, it's about three months of pay, seized him, began to choke him saying, pay what you owe.

So his fellow servant fell down, did the same thing, pled with him. Have patience with me. I will pay you. And he refused and went and put him in prison until he could pay the debt. A 100 denarii, three months pay, real money, to a man who just got released of a lifetime of payments. Crazy.

He began to choke him. Look at that. Look at the verb. He choked him. That's what unforgiveness does in a marriage. It puts your hands around your spouse's throat over three months pay while you're standing in the middle of 20 lifetimes of grace.

Matthew eighteen thirty two says, then his master summoned him and said to him, you wicked servant. I forgave you all that debt because you plead with me, and you should not have mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you. And in anger, his master delivered him to the jailers until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly father will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from your heart. See, forgiveness is a debt you cancel, not a feeling you find. You will never feel like forgiving.

And that's where we make the mistake. We wanna wait till we feel it. I feel like it or I feel like they deserve it. Right? I'll forgive them when they deserve it. I feel like when I feel like forgiving.

No. You have to decide to do it. It's a decision. It's an act of your will. See, look at what forgiveness is in this story. It's not a feeling.

The king didn't suddenly like the servant. It's a ledger. There's a debt on the books. The king takes a pen and writes, paid. Paid. That's forgiveness.

Canceling a debt, somebody really owes you. So you owe me, but I'm not collecting anymore. You owe me for that debt, but I'm not collecting. I forgive you. That's mercy, man. Grace, what God's done for us, what he's done for you, what we should do for each other.

I'm not collecting. Maybe for you, it's money. Maybe he made the decision with your savings you never agreed to and it's gone. Maybe you forgave him with your words, but every fight you've had since, the dishes, in laws, the kids' school somehow ends in the same place, like the time you lost all our money. Right? So we need to close that account.

Let me ask you the only question that matters. Do you wanna be right, or do you wanna be married? Because here's why you can't can afford you can afford to cancel it. You're the 10,000 talent guy, so am I. Everything anyone's ever done wrong. You're is a 100 denarii next to what God wrote paid over at the cross. That's how big forgiveness is.

When Jesus didn't say He didn't say forgive him because he deserve it. He didn't say forgive him once he's sorry. He said, I had mercy on you. That's the only reason given for forgiving and that's why you've been forgiven. Mercy, great grace. Hallelujah.

Forgiving people. Forgive people. It's not a suggestion. That's the math. Right? We are we have to cancel the debts, and you won't forget it, but you choose.

You make a decision today. I'm gonna forgive them. I'm gonna wipe clean that debt because of what he did for me. I do for you. I do for them. Amen.

So what does that look like in real life? Debt looks like in your house this week. Stop bringing up in new fights. Stop keeping score. You stop telling the story to your friends, your mom, your group chat, people who can't fix it. You stop waiting for them to make it up to you before you're okay.

You stop rehearsing the speech you'd give if you ever got the chance. None of us need a feeling. We just have to make a decision. I gotta decide. And the feelings, they will come. They'll come after.

But if you wait for them to come first, you'll be waiting at somebody's funeral. The debt is real, but you cancel it anyways. What they did is real, but you cancel it anyways. So some of us have been choking our spouse or the person we love for a 100 denarii while standing in 10,000 talents of forgiveness. So let's let go of their throat and say, I can't forget it, but I can forgive it. Amen.

Look at Psalms one zero three. I love this because I think of me. The Lord is merciful and gracious. Hallelujah. Slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide nor will he keep his anger forever.

He does not deal. Psalms one zero three eight through 14. He does not deal with us according to our sins nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love towards those who fear him. And I love this part. As far as the East is from the West, so far does he remove our transgressions from us as a father showing compassion to his children.

So the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him for he knows our frame. He remembers that we are dust. As far as the east is from the West. Hallelujah. The east and west don't ever come together. You keep going east and you just keep going east forever.

Going east. I'm going west. Okay. As far as the east is from the West. That's that's awesome because they never meet. You you get in your car, take the g you can go north long enough and hit the top of the world and start heading south.

East and west never meet. You can drive east for the rest of your life. That's how far God put your sin away, not a long way, infinitely, permanently, never going to meet far. That's the good news. Amen. He's not forgiving you because you're strong enough or because you deserve it.

He forgives you because he knows exactly what you're made of and he did it anyways. He said at the very end of that verse, for he knows our frame and he remembers that we are a dust. Look at Romans five eight and ten. But God shows his love for us and that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. For if we who were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his son, much more now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. While we were still sinners, while we were still enemies, while we didn't deserve a thing, while there was no feelings, Christ made the decision that he's gonna love you and forgive you of everything you'd ever do wrong.

He forgave you and me at our worst because you asked, because you cared. No. Before you even knew you needed it. That's good news, man. That's agape love in action. You forgive from forgiveness, not for it.

This is how we right? We forgive from how we've already been forgiven. Most of us, we, you know, that's it. We forgive because we've been forgiven. And we forgive from a place of being forgiven. That's how we that's how you do it.

Amen. That's how you do it. Now I've had to do this many times in my life. I had to forgive someone who took an investment of $250,000 and they walked away with it and I paid for it for years. 250,000. And a bunch of friends, $650,000.

A brother, friends of mine, sued him. We had to file bankruptcy because of him. And, you know, he walked into this church months ago and said, bro, I'm can't believe you didn't sue me and you still pray for me? He flipped and almost broke his back. He called me in the hospital a year ago, FaceTime. Bro, I wanna kill this guy.

You took my money? You know what I could do with that money? How many cars I could buy my kids right now that I can't buy? You know what mortgage I gotta pay because you didn't pay me back? I mean, it's real, bro. And he's calling me from his hospital, crying, pray for me.

Still text me all the time, pray for me. He walked in here one Sunday. I'm preaching. I I've had to do it, man. You gotta learn to forgive. I don't forget it.

I know every detail of everything that's happened and why and this and that. I have not forgotten, but I've had to choose to forgive the guy. Because of what God has done for me. I've had to choose. And years ago, I was at a pastor's conference. It was like one in the morning, the Holy Spirit woke me up in my bed.

He started to reveal all the faces of people that had hurt me, that had not forgiven, that were buried inside my heart, my father, pastors, leaders. I mean, I'm at a pastor's conference. It's all pastors. We're worshiping the Lord. We're in church like we're here today, you know, and it's in my room. One in the morning, the Holy Spirit just wakes me up and starts to remind me of all these people.

And it's like, the Lord's like, you need to forgive them. And that night, I made a decision. And I could tell you everything they did in detail. But that night, I decided I forgive them. And the Holy Spirit would bring to my remembrance that person, that situation, that that moment, and I had to forgive him. Lord, I forgive him.

Lord, I forgive him. And let me tell you, I felt like the fire of God came and cleaned my heart. It was incredible. Not because they apologized, not one of them did, not because I felt it, I didn't, but because I've been forgiven 10,000 talents. I was done choking people over a 100. So hear me.

I didn't forgive to get free. I forgave because I already was and the freedom showed up to prove it. Married people, here's the test this week. Before you forgive your spouse for the thing, ask one question. Am I doing this to get something or because I've already been given something? If it's to get something, a better week, a nicer version of them, a payback, you'll take it back the first time they disappoint you again, and they will disappoint you again.

I think I disappoint my wife all the time. Ask her. If it's because you've already been given something, nothing they do next can undo it because it was never about them. It was about you and God. So you don't forgive to get free. You're you forgive because you already are because of what God has done for you.

Amen. Amen. So you've been trying to forgive for years and it keeps coming back because you've been forgiving something instead of from something. Today, flip it. You've already been forgiven east from the West. Now go do for them what's been done for you.

I can't forget it, but I can forgive it. The hardest forgiveness in history, Luke 23. Two others who were criminals were led away to be put to death with him, talking about Jesus. And when they came to him, to the place called the Skull, they were crucified him. And the criminals on one right and one on his left, and Jesus said look what Jesus said, father, forgive them for they know not what they do. And they cast lots to divide his garments.

Look at the timing. They were crucifying him. The worst punishment, the worst possible torture you could ever go through in your life, nails in your hands, beaten to death, beyond recognition. The scripture says a cat of nine tails has ripped your flesh. If you ever seen the passion of the Christ, that is what it looked like or worse. And Jesus, the son of the living God, God in the flesh is hanging on the cross, and Jesus forgave them before they were sorry.

Before they even knew what they had done, before a single one of them turned around. And the reasons he gives is the most gracious sentence ever spoken. They know not what they do. See, forgiveness doesn't wait for an apology, and I know a lot of us, that's what we want. I want the guy that took my money to give it all back. I want an apology, then I forgive them.

Here's the lie that keeps most people locked up. I'll forgive them when they say sorry. Most people are waiting for an apology that will never come, but you, you're not gonna let somebody else's silence hold you, your freedom hostage. It will kill you. It will kill you. Some of them will never say sorry.

My wife never says sorry. I'm just kidding. She's not here, so I she could watch it later. But some of them don't think they did anything. Some of them are gone, moved away, passed away, not coming back. And if your forgiveness is waiting on their apology, you won't just you handed the keys to your freedom to the person that hurt you.

That's not justice. That's a second injury. You won't forget it, but you can make a decision today to forgive. You're waiting for a word they're never gonna say, and it's costing you every Friday night of your life. No more. Don't let them steal your joy, your peace.

Don't let them keep you bound. Make a decision. You can forgive them. Forgive them. Forgive them. They will never say they're sorry.

They can get it free, but forgive them. Jesus said, father, forgive them. Present tense nails in his hands. Now hear me. Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same things. Forgiveness takes one person.

Reconciliation takes two. Forgiveness is between you and God about them. Reconciliation is between you and them. Forgiveness is always required. Reconciliation is not always possible and it's not always safe. So you can fully forgive somebody and still hand them the keys to your house.

You can cancel the debt and still keep a boundary. I had to do this early on in my family. It's like, I forgive you guys. You guys are crazy, but here's a boundary. I love you, dad, but I forgive you, but you have a boundary. And reconciliation is not always possible.

Forgiveness sets you free, but it doesn't obligate you to hand the keys again. So this week, someone in your life needs to be forgiven with no apology on the table. Maybe it's your ex, your father-in-law, a parent, a formal friend, someone who's not alive to hear it. You don't need them in the room. You don't need them on the phone. You need a decision out loud before God.

I forgive you. You owe me, and I'm not collecting anymore. That's it. I'm not collecting. And it's a decision. I'm not collecting.

Amen? Amen. Forgiveness doesn't wait for the apology. Jesus forgave me and you with the nails still in his hands. Nobody said sorry. Nobody had to turn around.

And if you could, he didn't. He just forgave. And he said, for they don't know what they do. A lot of times, man, we were raised in certain ways. Things happen in our life. Parents did things to us that were horrible.

They didn't know God because if they knew God who is love, they would have never done that to you. They were raised wrong themselves. They passed down from generation to generation. They have things buried, they took it out on you. They didn't deal with the things they need to deal with, and then it all just keeps getting passed down. And today, it's time to say, you know what?

Enough is enough. I'm drawing a line in the sand. For me and my house, I serve the Lord, and I'm not gonna allow the sins of yesteryear to be continued. I'm gonna do what God has done for me. I'm gonna let it go. I'm gonna cancel the debt like he canceled it for me.

And I'll never maybe see get an apology. So this is what you next. Buried is not healed. You've gotta dig it up and put it away. If there's things that have happened or the betrayal, it's like the Lord. He woke me up and started to reveal to me again, hey, remember that?

Remember this? And I was like, yeah. Yeah. That guy, this, that happened. I gotta let it go. I gotta forgive him.

I gotta make a decision. I'm not gonna carry it along anymore. Forgiveness is a debt you cancel, not a feeling you'll find. You'll never feel like it. I wanna kill people. I wanna hurt them.

What they did, I wanna pay them back. Right? That's the human natural emotion. I wanna sue him. I'm gonna take him out. I'm a whatever.

The flesh, contrary to the spirit, wants to do things. Forgiveness is a debt you cancel, not a feeling. You'll never find the feeling when I finally get around to it. You gotta decide first and you'll feel later. You forgive from forgiveness. I've been forgiven.

God forgave me of everything. That's why I can forgive others of everything. Maybe I don't doesn't mean I'm gonna reconcile and be buds. You know, I'm not gonna go do business with the guy that took my money. But I forgive him. Right?

Forgive. Let it go. So pray for him. It's the love, but, you know, forgiveness doesn't wait for the apology. Jesus didn't. You don't have to.

So you can't change what happened. You can't. But you can decide what happens next. That's the vote you gotta make. Amen? This week, there's something that you're calling that I moved on that's just buried.

Write the name down. That's step one. What is it? Step two, cancel the debt out loud alone before God this week. Name that person you owe me. I'm not collecting anymore.

I forgive you. And don't wait to feel it. Say it. You will never forget it, but it's a decision you can make. Amen? Go back and read these scriptures that we read today.

All these scriptures, Colossians three, Matthew 18, Ephesians four, Psalms one zero three, Luke 23, Romans five. Read it. If you maybe as couples, as a married couple, read them together. Stop the replay. No more telling the story to people who can't fix it. No more bringing it up in the next fight.

No more keeping score. If you owe an apology, go this week. Text, call, face to face, married people, started at home, and then pray this daily. God, you put my sin as far as the East from the West. Help me do that for them, what you did for me. Father, I just thank you today for your holy spirit.

I thank you, Lord, that your word is true. I thank you, Jesus, for dying for me on the cross even when I had no idea what I was doing, the sin that I was in. You decided to give me your life. Thank you. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord.

Thank you for forgiving us. Thank you for cleansing us. Now before you can cancel any other debts, you need to know yours is canceled. Some of you maybe you've been trying to forgive people while you've never actually received forgiveness yourself, and you can't give what you don't have. And if you're never surrendered your life to Jesus, and I know I had to learn this. It's not I know about Jesus, the demons know about Jesus.

Oh, I go to church. Well, I go to church too. There's people walking. You can go to church your whole life and not be surrendered and not be saved and not really be following Jesus. You can be a car in a garage, doesn't make you a car. You're walk into it.

You know what I'm saying? So maybe today you realize, man, I'm not right with God. I don't even have a connection with God. And you can't forgive others because you need to be forgiven yourself first. And if that's you today, it's a decision you make. Right now, you can surrender your life to Jesus.

He forgave you with the nails still in his hands. Before you even asked, while you were an enemy, he decided to give his life for you. Maybe you need new life today. It's all comes from Jesus. He's the waymaker. He's the miracle worker.

He's the God of the breakthrough. He is the king of kings. He's the lord of lords. His name is Jesus. And today, you can repent. You can turn and say yes to Jesus and you could do it right now in this room.

You say, Jesus, I surrender my life to you. I've been carrying a debt I can't pay and I believe you paid it and I believe you died for me and rose again. Forgive me. As far as the East is from the West, come into my life today. Today, I declare I'm yours. Maybe that's you right now in this room.

You just tell them right now, I'm yours. I surrender. You just tell them, I'm yours. Jesus, I'm yours. I surrender. And for others in this room, you know Jesus.

You've been carrying something for years. You've been sitting. You've had things buried so well you forgot it was there, but until today. And I wanna say to you, you just talk to God. You tell him, God, I can't forget what they did, but today I forgive it. I forgive what they owe me, and I'm not collecting anymore.

I cancel the debt not because they deserve it, because you forgave me first and I put it away. I put it down. I'm not picking it up again. In Jesus' name. In Jesus' name. And maybe today, you've been listening to this whole message and realize you're not the 10,000 talent guy in the story.

You're the 100 denari, and somebody's been carrying you. Maybe it's the person sitting next to you in this room, and there's things you need to make right right now. You need to make right today. And holy spirit, God, if we've hurt somebody and I've let it sit, give me the courage this week not to defend myself, but to say I'm sorry. And do what only you can do in this relationship. And I pray, Holy Spirit, that you will take us to the next level.

Father, thank you that you didn't wait for us. Thank you that while we were still sinners, while we were enemies, while the nail nails were still in your hands, you said forgive them. And today, we do for others what you did for us. Everything buried in this room, Lord, I ask that you bring it to light and you help us to put it away. Every debt, let it be canceled in Jesus' name.

Every apology that's never coming, set us free from waiting on it. Every marriage, every family, every relationship in this room, Lord, has a next level. And nobody gets there carrying the last one. So, Lord, we put it down at your feet. Lord, the past will be the