US. week 3

Hey. What's up, guys? Welcome to week three of us where we're taking relationships and going the next level. Come on. Hey. Today, wanna talk about winning the locker room because you can still have everything and still lose without love.

Today's text is gonna be first Corinthians chapter thirteen one through eight. You know, we've been talking about with the week the the series you're in, us, that every relationship has a next level. Every relationship, whether dating, married, single, even with your pursuit of your relationship with God, every relationship has a next level. So I wanna tell you about a basketball team I played in college. I played at this bible college called Raymond Bible Training Center in Oklahoma. It's called Broken Arrow.

You know? And, man, I went there because I believe god called me to go there. You know? It was I had five scholarships to go a bunch of different places, and then god put my heart to go play for a coach named Lance Ivy and go to this bible college that was founded by Kenneth Hagin senior and, you know, known as the Word of Faith movement. And, so I went. I went by faith.

I turned down five different school scholarships. You know, in my high school year, we lost the state championship game by one point in the finals. And, man, I was bitter. I was upset. I was hurt. I was crying.

I remember looking across the stadium in Oklahoma losing at the end of the game by one point and seeing coach Lance Ivy there in the stands and thinking and I told the seniors. I said, all four of our seniors, hey. I'm going to Raymond. We're gonna win two back to back national championships, and that's what we did. But there was a road to get there. And, you know, when we started playing there, we were o and seven.

I mean, we had I've never been on a losing team. You know? We always had a winning record. And, but we started o and seven. Zero wins, seven losses. And it wasn't like we didn't have a good team.

We had a great team. We had a great coach. And, but we're losing anyways. And, you know, you had the big you had the big tall guys like me, the power fours and the centers verse versus the you know, you had the guards, the point guards, the people that bring the ball down the court that would that make the play. And so when we're o and seven, guys, it'd be like this. We'd be on a bus after a game.

We just lost. Coach is very upset. We have our food, and no one's talking to each other. And, really, you would have one part of the team on one side of the bus and the other part of the team on the other side of the bus, and you'd we'd be fighting against each other. It'd be like, oh, it's their fault. If if he didn't pass if he would've passed me the ball then or if he would've done this or that, and we're fighting.

There is no unity. There is no love. Nothing. And, does that sound familiar? Does that maybe you're in a season right now where you had a good marriage on paper, you had a good family on paper, you had a good team, a good church, good friendships, and underneath, there's a quiet war that nobody seems to be able to see. And you don't have a talent problem.

You have a love problem. See, when we were playing for the the school, when we were at each other's throat, we had to we had to realize this. Our coach had a vision. He had a vision. At the end of the year, we'd be playing the green team. He didn't know the name, but they were green.

And he came to the team, and he said, hey, guys. We're gonna be the the national championship game, and we're gonna lose to this team in green. Right? And, and so he said, this is what we have to do to come together if you don't wanna be in that position. And so this is what he did. He said, guys, before every practice, gonna go to first Corinthians 13, known as the love chapter.

And I know we read these in weddings, but this wasn't a this wasn't a chapter just for it to be read at weddings. This was because the church God knew we'd be at each other's throats. He knew we would need his love. You know, the Bible says God is love. Right? He's not trying to be love.

He is love. And the church in Corinth had a love problem and a love issue, and but love is the more excellent way. And so what we did is we had to memorize this every practice. For every practice, we would spend, like, forty minutes of prayer and memorize we would go through the love chapter. And we had memorized first Corinthians 13. Love is patient.

Love is kind. Love is not envious. Love is not does not remem is not jealous, love suffers love suffers long, love love doesn't remember long, and we memorize this and get this into our heart. Right? And so would you believe that at the end of the year, we're playing the green team, and we won? And, guys, I can tell you something.

It was all went back to love. We had to get unified. We had to become a team again. Right? See, our our coach didn't install a new play. He didn't, bring in a new starting five or you know?

He made us get first Corinthians 13 in our heart. And before we had the before we could win anything, we had to learn. We had to learn. It's a scam. We had to learn how to love. This is why the scripture says it says it says submit your bodies unto God as a holy living sacrifice, and it says renew your mind in the word, Romans twelve one and two.

You know, we gotta we gotta change the CPU of this brain. You know, we're born again. We have a three part being, spirit, soul, and body. We have the new spirit, the DNA of God. We have in Romans eight, it says the love of God in us. But then we still have this carnal mind, this mindset that needs to be retrained according to the scriptures.

And so, guys, as a team, we had to be retrained. As a team, we had to come together in unity. We had to come together in love. And you know what happened? We win we went and won back to back national championships, first time in school history. It was incredible.

But not because talent changed. It's because love changed. And, guys, let me tell you. If you want to upgrade your marriage or your relationships with people or with God or with those around you or the one you're dating, or period. It's because of love. Don't miss this.

You can upgrade every skill in your life. You know? You could learn all the greatest techniques. Right? And you could do everything that you know that you're supposed to do. But underneath, if love is broken, you could be the most gifted, talented person in the room, the hardest worker, or just a good person.

Right? And you could be most right in every argument. You'd the one that, man, you're just right. You're just right about it all, but and still lose the thing that matters the most, love. Let me tell you something. Before you win the championship, you have to win the locker room.

Right? Before you can go have a championship caliber team and go win championships, championships don't start on the night of the game of the championship game. It starts in the preseason. It it starts in the practice. It starts in the everyday life. And so if you wanna win the championship of life, you gotta win in the locker room.

See, I want you to I wanna go to point zero here because we're in a series called us. Week one, we named, you know, we named what was hard. Week two, we learned to fight fair. And every week comes back to this one idea. Every relationship has a next level. And today isn't point four, it's point zero, the thing that has to be true underneath everything else.

You can't you can fight fair. You can communicate well. You can forgive quickly and still lose the relationship if love was never running the whole operation. Everything starts and begins with love. And you know what? God is love, or you love is God is love.

So it all starts with God who is love. See, without it, you have nothing. Paul is writing the church here that was gifted. They were talented. They were falling apart from the inside out. First Corinthians thirteen one to three, it says, if I speak in the tongues of men and angels but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clangy symbol.

And if I have prophetic powers and understand all the mysteries, all the knowledge, and if I have all the faith as to remove mountains but have no love, I am nothing. You could look. You could have elegant prophecy. Oh, you have visions and dreams. Oh, it's amazing. Man, you could speak in tongues.

Speak in the tongues of angels as the scripture says. You can have supernatural miracle moving faith that moves mountains, a mighty man and woman of god of faith. You are so good. You could do all that. Radical generosity. You can even give your life to die.

But if you have not love, the scripture says, you have nothing. You have nothing. Elegance, prophecy, you can know every mystery. Mountain moving face, radical generosity, everything. Without love, it's nothing. See, the hardest working spouse on the street, the parent who never misses a game, the most doctrinally correct person in every bible study, and if love isn't underneath it, it's noisy.

It's just loud. It's impressive for a second, but it's empty. First Corinthians 13 is the standard that has never moved. It's not a skill. It's not effort. It's not even sacrifice.

It's love. See, you can be gifted and still be nothing. Love is the one thing that isn't optional. See, love comes before the championship, guys. Look. Love isn't the reward for a good relationship.

It's the requirement for one. See, our team didn't earn the right to learn love by winning first. We didn't it wasn't we had to, oh, once you won, then you figured out how to love. No. We had to learn love before we ever won anything. See, that's backwards from how most of us live.

Once things get better, I'll be more patient. Once we make more money, I have more money in the bank account and our money issues are resolved because ninety percent of divorce rates are because of all money issues. So once the money comes in and once we get the income we always desire, then it'll all resolve. Right? Once the marriage improves, I'll be more loving. Once the friendship feels easier, I'll show up better.

But hear me, That's exactly backwards. Love doesn't show up after the championship. Love is how you get the championship. That's how you get the marriage you've always dreamed of. That's how that's how you become the friend and have the friendships that you've always desired. That's how you be the church the the church leader that you're called to be, the team member that you're supposed to be.

It's all through love. Love is how you get there. See, I love I'll love them better once they change. That's not a strategy. That's a tactic wearing a nice outfit. See, before you win the championship, you have to win the locker room, and you win the locker room with love.

See, think about relationships are the hardest, that feel like, you know, are in a losing season right now, let's say. Your marriage, maybe your family, maybe friendships, maybe a team you lead. Ask it honestly. Maybe the church that you're in, and you're you're waiting for this to get better before I love better. Or am I willing to love first? You know, I remember hearing something a long time ago when people in church or someone in church was like, man, pastor, I want you to get really deep.

I wanna know the Hebrew. I wanna know the Greek. I wanna know the context. I wanna know all of this stuff. And you know what is deep? It's love.

Love is deep. Loving people, being kind to people. You know, believing the best in people, that's deep. Believing the best in your pastor or your church leaders, believing the best in your husband or your wife, that's deep. This is deep. You wanna get deep?

You wanna win championships? It all comes back to love. Are you willing to love first? See, some of you've been waiting on your spouse or waiting your kids or maybe when they age up a little more or your friends or your coworkers to change first. You're sitting at 017. You're wondering why nothing's turning around.

It's not a talent problem. Let me tell you that. It's a love problem. See, before you win the championship, you gotta win the locker room. Got to. See, love is a decision, not a feeling.

It's not a feeling. Ah, I don't feel in love anymore. That's baloney. Only baloney. Love is a decision, not a feeling. I don't feel love anymore.

I don't feel the warm, goosey gumba doo bumps, you know, and when they walk in the my hair is not blown back anymore like it was at first. Because those are chemical reactions that took place. Love is a decision. It's not a feeling. Paul doesn't leave love vague. Love at look at what is actually love does because it's not vague.

It's not a feeling. Look at first Corinthians thirteen four through seven. It says love is patient. Love is kind. Love is patient and kind. Love does not envy.

It doesn't boast. It's not arrogant. It's not rude. Look at this. Love does not insist on its own way. Look at this.

Love is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices when truth comes. Love bears all things. Love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. See, every word that is listed is a verb. Right?

It's not a feeling. Patience, kind, not irritable, not resentful. Those aren't emotions that are happening to you. Those are decisions about how you treat people, especially on the days that you don't feel like it. You remember last week fighting fighting fair, not keeping score? This is where this comes from.

Love keeps no record of wrongs. Right? So when you bring up something from three years ago or three months ago or and you and you say and in today's argument, that's not passion. That's the opposite of love. That's not love. Don't miss this.

Most people wait to feel loving before they act loving. But let me say that again. Most people wait to feel loving before they act loving. See, love was never a feeling that you wait on. Because if you wait on a feeling, that feeling might never come. You know, feelings are like roller coasters.

I can feel excited day and then up down the next day. See, love is not a feeling. It's a decision. A decision you make when your actions before your feelings catch up. It's a decision you make with your actions. That's what love is.

Before your feelings catch up. Thank god that thank god that god, who is love, didn't base his love on how he felt about things that day. Can you imagine what life would be like? See, love isn't a feeling you wait for. It's the decision you make before your feelings show up. See, this week, pick the person that you find hardest to love.

And I know they just popped right in your mind. You know who they are. It might be right next to you. Who knows? And practice one verb from the list that we just listed on purpose. Patient within today.

Look. If love is patient, god is patient with you. God is patient. Love is patient. Maybe choose the word kind. Be kind to them today, not because you feel like it, but because you have made a decision.

Thank god. God made a decision before the foundation of the world that he was gonna die for your sins even while you were still yet a sinner. Christ died for you. He made a decision not based on what he felt like, not based on the cross and the pain that he was gonna go through, but based it was a decision. Love is a decision. God made a decision to love you, and God's calling you as a reflector of his love with his presence and spirit on the inside of you to make that decision as well.

The church had to decide. We had to decide on that basketball team if we're gonna win championships, And you and your relationships, you wanna win championships, you wanna have a championship marriage, a chair championship relationships, somebody here, you know, you're gonna have to stop waiting on a feeling, and you're gonna have to make the decision today. Choose to love. Because the feelings follow the decision. It rarely leads it. See, before you win the championship, you gotta win the locker room.

See, love is what lasts. If there's points, it's point three. Love is what lasts. This is the third thing. This is the one I wanna leave with you today. The third thing, the last thing for us, week three, first Corinthians thirteen eight and thirteen.

Love never ends. Love has no ending. As for prophecies, they will pass away. As for tongues, they will cease. As for knowledge, it will pass away. But now faith, hope, and love abide.

These three, but the greatest of these is love. Love. Look. Faith, it's important. Without faith, it's impossible to please god. Faith, mountain move.

It's hope, it's important, but love is the greatest. Love is the greatest. Everything else has an expiration date. Prophecies pass away. Tongues cease. Knowledge passes.

But every impressive gift in that church has a shelf life. Love didn't and love never ends. That's why as we're in this series on relationship, it keeps coming back to one love, one word, fighting fair, communication, forgiveness. All of it is a container. Love is what has to be inside the container or the container's empty. See, I I've been in ministry now over twenty years, maybe twenty five years.

I can tell you exactly what I know about faith. I can quote the verse. I can teach the principles. Like, I've been married for twenty plus twenty four years in two marriages. And let me tell you this. You can know all about God.

You can know all the scriptures you want about God. But actually loving the people in front of you, those aren't automatic. That's a skill that you have to learn. Those are decisions you're gonna have to make. And I've learned the hard way more than once. So the time with people you love, spending love loving them on purpose is never wasted time.

It's the only investment on Paul's list that never ends. See, everything else expires, but love never does. So your gifts will fade. Your knowledge will be outdated. Even your faith at times will waver. But love, love, chosen, practiced, decided on love, outlast every one of them.

The greatest of these is love. It's not the flashiest. It's not the most impressive. It's the greatest. Love is the greatest. Before you win the championship, you gotta win the locker room.

Let me bring this home for you guys because you can have everything else and still lose without love. You can still lose. We were o and seven when we first started on that team. We had everything we needed. We had the coach. We had the facilities.

We had resources. We had all the same team, the right players, but we started off o and seven. And maybe right now, you feel like, man, we're o and seven. We've been going to that. We're o and seven. So you can't have everything else and still without love.

You can have the right theology but the wrong heart. You can have the right effort, but you can have the wrong tone. You can have the right intentions, but the wrong follow through. None of it substitutes for love. And some of your o and seven in relationship that matters, and you've tried the new play. You've been trying the new strategies, but what you haven't tried is loving first on purpose before anything changes.

And this is not a decision that you make. Well, I'm gonna love for a moment, and if it doesn't change the way I want it, then it doesn't when we're o and seven, we had to go every day and get in the scripture, every day and go through the whole season and fight and believe and memorize and keep practicing and elbow each other and get hurt and get back up and choose love over and over and over and over and over again. Therefore, anything changes. See, every relationship has a next level. For some of you, it isn't a new technique or a new boundary. It's just love.

Decided on, practiced, given away before you feel like it. You can do this. You can win the championship game, but you gotta win the locker room. So let me give you some practical steps so we wrap up wrap wrap up. What do I actually do this week? What can you do?

Number one, read first Corinthians 13 out loud every day. Read it out loud. Memorize it. Get in your heart. Meditate on the scriptures. The Bible says meditate on his word every day, and it'll make you will make your way prosperous and successful.

I think if the church need to know the way of love, so should you. Read first Corinthians 13 out loud alone or with the person you're struggling to love. Do that all this week. Number two, name your o and seven relationship, the one running on talent and effort but not love. Do that. Number three, pick one verb from the verses four through seven that we just read, patience, kindness, etcetera, and practice it on purpose.

You know, the scripture says in James, it says faith without works is dead. So this is our faith. If you don't work it, it's dead faith. So pick a verse and practice it today. And don't do it and don't you have to just do it. It's not based on if I feel like it.

It's like going to the gym. I don't feel like going to the gym. But if I wanna have a good body, you gotta go every day and do make decisions that you don't wanna do. It's the same thing with your relationship. And you wanna go that next level, you might be o and seven. But look, pick a verse and then act on it.

Act on it over and over and over again. And number four, stop keeping score. Old wrongs and current arguments, lay that down first. Stop reminding the person of the past. First and and Isaiah says, don't dwell in the past. The scripture says your sins have been blotted out.

Guys, stop remembering all the wrongs and keeping score. Stop being the CPA in your marriage and keeping a balance sheet. No. No. No. That's not the way I love because, look, God doesn't do that with you, and you don't do that with others.

And if both are doing that for each other, that's why it's so important for both people in a united marriage and relationships, why it's so important don't get in relationship with those that are in light and in darkness. No. No. So you have the same values. That's all another but stop keeping score. And number five, love first before anything changes, and don't reverse the order.

Love first. Amen? Amen. Hey. I wanna pray with you real quick about two moments. Number one, the first time receiving the love that never ends.

Before you can give away love, first, you gotta receive it. And God wants to give you his love right now. It came through his son, Jesus. And I wanna pray with you right now. Maybe you've never made Jesus lord of your life, and the Bible says, call on the name of the lord. You will be saved.

Repent of your sins. Call on him, and his love will come and transform you from the inside out. I wanna pray for you, And I wanna pray for another person, maybe the comeback, coming choosing love first. You've been waiting for a relationship to get easier before you love better, but today, you gotta flip the order. And God wants you to lay it down and choose love first. Amen?

So let me pray for you right now. Father, I wanna pray for those that are watching for the first time. They need your love right now. Just lift up your hand right now and say, god, my hand lifted is a surrendered heart, and I wanna receive your love right now. Jesus, come into my heart. Forgive me of my sins.

I declare I'm yours, and I ask that you fill me with your love. Save me. Forgive me of my sins. Make me new right now in Jesus' name. And as we keep praying, I wanna pray for those that need to choose love first. Father, I lay down the waiting.

I choose to love first before anything changes. Teach me to win the locker room. Lord, let the comeback begin now in my relationships. And, father, for everyone watching, I wanna pray right now. Father, I thank you that your love for us has never faded, never fails, never runs dry. Teach us the way of love, patience, kindness, keeping no wrongs.

Lord, we've been waiting for feelings to lead, but help us make the decision first. Every relationship in this room has a next level, and love is how we get there in Jesus' name. Amen. Church, before you win the championship, you win the locker room. Hey.

Next Sunday, we'll be back together. It's Labor Day weekend. We give everyone that day the week the the Sunday off. But next Sunday, want you to pray because we're gonna be in the next episode, the next talk for us. Every relationship has a next level.

You don't wanna miss it. Bring a friend. Invite a friend. Share this video. Subscribe to our our YouTube page, guys, and bring a friend.

Next Sunday is gonna be awesome. You don't wanna miss it. And, look, we love you. We hope you're having a great week, a great Sunday. God bless you, and we'll see you next Sunday for us.